When Love Is The Trigger

When Love Is The Trigger

(It’s Valentine’s Day and love is all around. So here is a post to honour those whose path to true love is a little rocky). Why do attachment-disordered children struggle so hard to accept our Love, the very stuff that would help them heal? Because love...

Help required!

Help required! Nine-year-old girl in search of calm, safe father. Who can stand tall and steadfast in the gales of my furies and confusions. Who can guide me without boring me. Who can remind without nagging. Who can tell funny jokes. Who will accept me as I am, for...

Re-filling the tank

It was my birthday on Tuesday, and my wife and I went for a mid-morning Indian Head Massage. We have fairly tightly-defined routines that allow us to check-in briefly a couple of times a day, but not much more. In contrast, on Tuesday morning, all we could do was sit...
When Parenting Hurts

When Parenting Hurts

Children’s lives depend on their parents.   They look to us to provide protection, boundaries, strength, and leadership. This is especially true for children with histories of broken attachments, loss, and trauma. Yet these are the children who can test our...
The Gift of Containment

The Gift of Containment

For a child to feel contained when he goes into high arousal, you need to stay calm and strong. If you do, you are acting as an emotional regulator for his highly overwhelmed state: This is containment. It is a very beautiful gift to a child locked in rage Margot...